I wasn't ready for this...

I did get pregnant again...I had just wrapped my head around being a Mom, I was settling in and bonding with William. A regular appointment...they couldn't find his heart beat...sonogram showed no beating heart. My little man was gone.
December 13, 2007 4:14am William Henry Johnson, 12.2 oz. 11 inches long was born into this world still. Mommy doesn't know what to do without you. I miss you so much and the pain it comes and goes but you my love I can't even hold...not physically as you will always be held in my heart and head and yes, in my soul.
I'm lost and confused and saddened by you not being here. I know you know this as you are always with me and you know my every thought.
I'm angry with a lot of things and trying to work through this fire that burns so hot. Please help Mommy and Daddy too we both miss you so much.