A letter to William

Good Morning Sweet Angel,
How strange it must seem to those on the outside that I talk to you.
You who doesn't sit in my arms but I feel you all around me.
My sweet little boy who didn't take a breath. You are your Mommy's flesh and blood a part of her soul. I wish that I could hear you sigh, I wish that I never had to say good-bye. Actually, come to think of it I didn't say good-bye. Mommy doesn't like good-byes! I kissed your fragile forehead and handed you off...I guess I knew that I'd see you again someday. The peace that I felt when I held you that day. Can I ever get that back? Will I ever sleep soundly without medication, will I have the strength to get through the day? This "club" it is sad and we're so many. Mommy's with Angels and Daddy's with broken hearts and silent grief of course, they're the Daddy's of Angels too. Will you ever know Will, how much we miss you, do you have an idea of how much we wanted you? I'm sure you do as I said before you are around me everyday...for that I am sure. My arms they ache. What a strange sensation I thought they were lying but I ache to hold you and coming up on your 1 month birthday I wish I had all those days in between to hold you again and see your cowboy feet and kiss you. I know it's a rambling letter Will, but you should know that Mommy thinks and speaks all at once! I know I'll cross over one day to the bright side and see you standing there waiting for me. I know that I'll know you and I know you are in Gods hands and I know you are with family and friends. Be good my little one. I love you and I'll see you on the other side.
Love, Mommy