Why can't I win the Powerball?

I just want to not have to go to work again! Not that I don't enjoy my job, I do to a point!
I just want to have a whole lot of FREE time and be able to get a personal trainer, a manicure, a pedicure and go to the tanning salon whenever I feel like it!
Is that really too much to ask? No, I'm not barbie, by any means and never will be but, I would love to have the means to pretend! I guess that could be part of my problem, I'm a dreamer! Of course, if we don't have our dreams, what do we have?
So, for now I'll dream on and I'll have to remember that you can't win if you don't play! Of course, I didn't play last nite so how can I win!?

Supercalifragilisticexpealidotious

If you say it loud enough you'll always sound precocious, supercalifragilisticexpealidotious...
hum didaliddle, hum didalie...
just had to get that off my brain!
Enjoy and sing to yourself...sing outloud others may join you!

The Questions

Have you ever watched Inside the Actors Studio with James Lipton? It is fabulous and at the end he asks these questions based on a questionnaire by Bernard Pivot...So here are my answers!

01. What is your favorite word?
Love
02. What is your least favorite word?
The N word
03. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
Family and Friends
04. What turns you off?
Mean people
05. What is your favorite curse word?
Fuck
06. What sound or noise do you love?
Children Laughing
07. What sound or noise do you hate?
The sound of sadness in someone's voice.
08. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
If I could I'd love to have been in NASA in any capacity.
09. What profession would you not like to do?
Politician!
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Well, hello, we've been waiting!


So, can you answer those questions?
kind of fun and your answers may change often but enjoy life while you can!

Do you ever think...

Do you ever think that maybe you're not as good a person as you want to be?

Sometimes, I get these thoughts that say "hey, you're not being who you want to be!"
I get down on people not, that I consider myself a judgmental person but I guess to a point we all are. I judge others by the way they treat me. I trust, usually until given a reason not to. I love unconditionally...But don't always feel the same in return and given that I'm a hopeful romantic, I suppose I will never feel as loved as I want to feel.

That last sentence has to do with the fact that I want to fairy tale...Don't all girls/women?
I want the lust factor to always be a part of my relationship and the "new friend" feeling to never go out of a friendship. Is it really too much to ask?

You know that I want to be with him, every second of every day feeling when you first fall in lust with someone? We all know that first feeling isn't love. Not that I don't believe in love at first sight because I do. I believe that there is someone for everyone...No matter how scary they may be! I believe that love can last forever even if you're not with someone and I believe friendships can stay intact for years even if you don't talk to someone on a regular basis. Okay, I got off topic but this is my blog and I can do that can't I?! Lust, that's where I was...Ponder that first touch, first kiss, first time you made love or screwed like rabbits or whatever you want to call that first animalistic time in bed together...That my friends is lust! Wouldn't it be nice if every time were like the 1st time with your "true love?"

That "new friend" feeling, the one where you know this person is going to be in your life forever the one where you stay up talking even though you have a home to call your own and you need to leave! The feeling of "I've known this person from somewhere before this!" You know what I am talking about.

Don't you wish it could always last? I guess, I feel that I'm not who I hoped to be because I judge on a comment and hold a grudge. That feeling of security gets lost too quick and then you feel like "what the hell did I do wrong?" I've had the feeling and I've endured the loss...But now I want to move on...My nature instincts have me hold a grudge and my nurture instincts say let it go already! So, now I'm going to try to be the person I hoped to be...I will still believe in lust and the "new friend" feeling but I will try damn hard to let go of the grudge instinct!

MOVE ON ALREADY!!!

http://postsecret.blogspot.com

Just because I like it!

Check out http://postsecret.blogspot.com

Kinda cool, kinda sad but totally interesting!

So Peter Cotton tail wasn't all that bad or was he?

Well Easter came and went...families are so interesting...past, present and future.
Learned a little about Shan's family and a lot about my prior post of WANTING to be with my family! Man, did I want to be with my family! Not that I don't like Shan's family don't get me wrong but it just seems to be such a BIG deal...and really it's not! I don't know how to say it except that there is one person with whom there always seems to be conflict and NO one can escape! Just use your imagination!

I promised myself I wouldn't use this as a place to "bad mouth" others or put my personal BIG BS on, so I won't.

I'm just going to say sometimes when you get together with other peoples families you realize that your own personal dysfunctional family does actually put the fun into dysfunctional! Let's face it no family is like the Cleavers and if there is a family as such well then...they are acting or there really is a skeleton in that closet!

But wouldn't the Cleavers have been a nice family?!


Aside from family bs...the bunny seemed to treat the kids well and I got to spend more time with Shan's favorite niece...which mind you is easy to see why she's his fav! She loves animals, has a great since of humor and has yet to hit that snotty teen age! So, yeah, she's my favorite on his side too! I have my own favorite niece here at home so I can't say that she's my fav! But she is a damn good kid! Hope she stays that way!

Of, course spending time with his family makes me realize that I really need to join the gym cause if at 83 years old his dad can excercise for 20 min every day then so can I so...I will, I think! If only so I don't have to buy larger panties and bras!

So Peter Cotton tail really wasn't all that bad...now I have to look forward to OT, in September...maybe I can shrink by then!

Here comes Peter Cottontail!

Yes, here he comes hopping down the bunny trail...hippity, hoppity, Easters on it's way!

How strange...this is a religous holiday around the corner and yet the only thing I can think of is That freakin' song! Oh, well...never been too religous anyhow!

Yet, it is even more strange that the older I get the more I wish to be with my family for such holidays!

We're going to Iowa for Easter...which all in all is a good time! I just hate the drive 5 LONG hours unless of course we're headed home...then it seems to only take 4 hours! Don't know why. We're going to the best damn chicken joint in the world! Mt. Hamil Tap, in Mt. Hamil Iowa...it's a small Catholic community with a fab beer battered chicken! Oh, my! So that is my plus! Yes, I enjoy food...more to the point fried foods!

But in the same respects all the above said...I miss my Grandma and my Mommy and my sister and such when we are not home! Sad isn't it...31 years old and still want to be with MY family!

Even worse is every one up there seems so concerned with all the whens, wheres and whats...who cares! Can't we just spend time together, have a beer and hang out? Jeez! Ok, now I'm ranting...most families are like that...I know...I just wish that we could go just BE! Which in the long run is exactly what we're gonna do!

I'm so ready for May...vacation to Branson for 5 days of nothingness! Then in June come the Steam Shows...you'll just have to wait to see or should I say read what they are about! They are fun for me but you either love 'em or hate 'em...when the time comes I'll give you insight!

That's it for now...just had to get that off my chest!

I've been told that this is something I should do. I used to keep a journal (personal, very private) now, I suck at writing in it and decided to share my life with you!

No, I don't want to be a writer, an actress, or all in all a legend. I do however want to be remembered by my friends, those I have now and those from my past. The people that I love, cherish, hold dear, what have you!

So as for my 1st post I am writing about the loss of said friendships, are they lost or do people really hang on to past and present friendships?

Recently, a High School friend passed away. His life seems to have gotten difficult. How at 31 does your life get difficult? I'm not too sure. My life having had it's own ups and downs never seemed to be too bad. So for me I'm just not "getting it!" I'm not comprehending why people do things when there are others to help. Ok, now before I get on a rage, I will stop here...let you ponder what may or may not have happened and see where it takes you in your own thoughts.

Do you have friends that you met when you were little? Do you still keep in contact with them? If not why? Is it you or them or a mix of both? Yes, it is time for you to answer 20 questions. Think about it. Who do you love? Who did you let into your life, did you retain them as friends or are they all aquaintences?

I myself have a handful of friends. My closest female friends of which I have 3 are in contact by phone and 2 by e-mail. One of which lives 20 minutes away (no, I never see her), one is in Alaska, she comes to Missouri once a year, and one in California, I have seen her not too horribly long ago as she came to visit.

My friends that I knew in High School well...guess out of the 3 how many are High School friends? None, One I have known since kindergarten we played T-Ball together, the other since I believe 3rd grade, and the other since I was 20. Now don't get me wrong I am not sad about this by any means, they are 3 people I know if I needed something I could turn to. Now mind you this is not to mention that my family, my Mom, Dad, sister, cousins are truly my dearest friends. Oh yes and my better half...Shan (my boyfriend of 4 years.) The family thing came over time! But I enjoy it much.

Now, I've been babbling enough so let me know what you think! How do you feel about your friendships, lovers, family, etc?